Kill my self? What are you talking about? Are you trying to make people take some bad decisions?
Nope. Let me explain what I mean by killing yourself. In fact, it's a process you need to be doing again and again and again whenever you hit a glass ceiling. You can kill small parts of yourself, or just completely recreate yourself.
The self, our consciousness, and what we call " I " are just a collection of memories, experiences, and perspectives of others. Basically, you are nothing but what you lived and experienced.
Therefore, If you try to know who you really are, you will only know what you really experienced, and how you reacted to what you experienced... And we all know, reactions are usually based on emotions, feelings, and the environment.
So if you try to go back in time to a specific situation, and then analyze how you reacted to it, you won't take into account whether or not you were under pressure, hungry, angry, with people you hated, loved, who made you feel insecure, confident, happy, etc. So as you can see, it really depends... Because usually, when we try to know who we are, we go back to past memories, and memories are not reliable because of what I just said, and also because, most of the time, we forget.
Well, "what should I do?" you might ask... "Who am I? This will cause me to have an existential crisis!"
No, no, do not worry. I will tell you who you are.
You are a conscious being, which means you can decide who you can be. In fact, the best thing to do for growth and a better life is, if you have a goal, you need to completely get rid of (or kill) who you were and recreate yourself into who you need to be the person that can achieve the goals you want to achieve.
This also means you need to sit down, determine what your goals are, and determine who is the person that is capable of making those goals happen EASILY (Yes EASILY), then aim to become this person.
Because here is the thing, you, the current you, can't achieve those goals... Otherwise, you will already be there. (are you following the logic?) This is what the growth mindset is.
Now on the other side, if you keep trying to find yourself, and if you are too attached to yourself, you will :
1- Take every failure personally
2- Be unable to forget your past mistakes
3- Be unable to forgive yourself for your negative thoughts and behaviors
4- Always "discover" things about yourself, that are not even yourself... So you will never understand yourself, and you will stay stuck in a loop of finding out who you are.
5- Have a higher chance to develop a fixed mindset
This is my philosophy of life, surely, someone thought about this before, maybe even shared it with the world, but I'm pretty sure I didn't come across it, and if I did, I would've saved myself from many years of depression. But what I know though, is many, many successful people think the same way.
I made a video about this on Youtube, if you want to watch it, you will find it below